The best management advice I never got

Boost your team's performance with a simple trick

Asking for feedback

Humans are social animals. We care what other people think of us. Be it good or bad, we are curious and always trying to figure it out.

When I start managing people, I usually create an expectation document. It helps to align on the kinds of behaviors and actions I would like to see from new team members.
I share a document with the new joiner in preparation for an expectation setting meeting. I ask them to read carefully, and add comments or questions to the document.
As a pretext of a conversation - I also ask them to write up the expectations they have from me and from the company.

Setting your expectations as a new employee can be challenging. It's not something you hear very often. Yet, one thing I hear from new joiners is:

Give me feedback - tell me what you think about me.

In some cases this is the only expectation from me as a manager and leader. It makes sense, we are all obsessed with our image in the eyes of other people.
Feedback is an important part of getting better, and we all strive to improve.

Good before bad

Managing people requires us to build a trustful relationship. Most people who ask for feedback want to hear how they can improve. Tech employees tend to be ambitious and competitive.

What they don't think about, and what I need to consider, is the praise-to-criticism ratio.
According to a well known study ¹, in high-performing teams, the ratio of praise to criticism is about 5.6. For every criticism an employee receives, they should receive 5.6 praises.
This makes a lot of sense - we are all sensitive and fragile. We need to feel safe and appreciated before embracing criticism or constructive feedback.

The trick

I meet all my team members weekly in 1:1 meetings. Our focus is on the person and the team's progress. This includes collaboration and communication in the team.
For a better understanding of the team's state, I often ask how people are doing. Some of the things I hear are pretty pleasant and encouraging. It turns out that most people enjoy working with their teammates, but they don’t tell them enough about it.
People usually won’t praise their peers or other people they work with.

So I started a habit of being a praises router:

I share with my team members the praises I heard from their peers.

This may sound small, but it is one of the most powerful habits I have developed as a manager.

• I give a positive example of sharing praise. it strengthens a culture of praise.

• It strengthens the connection between team members.

• It increases the praise-to-criticism ratio. People will be more open to criticism.

• It requires only minimal preparation on my part. I take notes and remember to share.

• It is less embarrassing for everyone involved.

“Won’t it be more effective if people share their praises themselves?” I hear you ask.
To which the answer is "YES”, I usually suggest they do it. Getting praise or compliment  from a proxy is powerful but receiving it from the source is much better.

I don’t mind double praising and neither should you. Except when someone asks me not to praise because they want to do it themselves.

Why isn't this in management books?

I don’t know. 🤷‍♂️

It's something I do all the time, but I rarely receive it in return.

Maybe people think it is wrong to speak on behalf of others.

People want to praise, but they don't always get to do so.

Every praise un-shared is a loss of opportunity to motivate and improve collaboration.

1. “The Ideal Praise-to-Criticism Ratio” by Jack Zenger and Joseph Folkman HBR 2013